Tarte “Infinite Glow” makeup $30, LipstickPowderPaint.blogspot.com

� Lipstick, Powder ‘n Paint picks favs for V Day. I’d prefer a lap dance over overpriced face paint any day, but that’s just me.
� A Touch of Blusher reports on the must-try look for spring 2008. Your toyfriend would rather just see you naked.
� Beautiful Makeup Search visits Three Custom Color specialists. Whether they’ll blond you down there, I don’t know.
� Makeup Bag covers MD Skincare’s newest sun products.
� Makeup Moxie unlocks the multi-tasking power of Milani Powder Mosaics. Sounds as busy as me below my desk while I work.
� The Organic Beauty Expert offers up an intoxicating review of Liz Earle face care.
� TheMakeupGirl does a before and after with Elizabeth Arden’s liquid mineral makeup, Intervene. Unfortunately, she does not test said product below the neck.
� WELOVEBEAUTY.com shares celebrity makeup artist and stylemaker Billy B’s amazing Grammy night with Tina Turner. I just want to know if he saw Beyonce naked.

Patrick and Skinner cami and knickers $630, Patrick and Skinner.com

What’s a woman but a body?

What’s a body but a bundle of nerves?

What are nerves but naked sensation, sending sensual commands between your brain and bod, demanding decisions that pay mind to matter, and that matter to your mind?

Like that choice that landed you in such a choice position, with such a choice toyfriend, in a sea of bedclothes that are more than just wrinkled sheets.

Is materialism just for mindless materialists?

Let your body pick with Patrick and Skinner lingerie — win this boss cami and knickers set* by sending me your tale about tail, about what you’d do in this lingerie.
Carb-free brownie points if it involves these.

* Contest ends February 29, 2007 at 11:59 am PST. Winner will be announced March 3, 2008.

Prada shoes with flower heels $590, Neiman Marcus.com

A bouquet of blossoms is just a bunch of dead plants.

The only flowers worth presenting on V Day are these Prada shoes.

Gift yourself these flower Prada shoes, slip them on your stems, and put out.

As for your toyfriend –

You can’t say “I love you” without a big, capital “I.”

Jimmy Choo patent sandals $585, Net-a-Poter.com

Red means mad, red means blood, red means–

A color you can wear to promote National Wear Red Day, today, 24 hours set aside to raise awareness about heart disease. The number one killer of women — and their toyfriends, but who’s counting? — can be prevented.

In fact, I just replaced my heart with a Starbucks latte cup.

Email me for specifications, or you can also prevent heart disease with a visit to Go Red for Women.org.

Violet May Blackberry bag $390, VioletMayLondon.com


� My Fashion Life hearts the Violet May Blackberry purse. Boss, but you can watch porn more easily on an iPhone.
� Fashion Indie connects big box retailers and emerging designers. Their relationship is similar to that one you had with the rich toyfriend who was twice your age and secretly married. Only these designers get f**ked even harder.
� Fashiontribes reviews new fashion designer names to know. I keep hearing some dude named Gucci — say it, “Gookee” — is getting big.
� Stiletto Jungle dishes the best beauty discoveries of 2007. Most notable? Apparently cheesecake doesn’t help cellulite. Go fig.
� Bag Bliss reveals the new Coach/Miss Davenporte bag collection. Suburban housewives riot.
� Bag Snob is enchanted by the “Fairy Bag” from Prada. And no, it wasn’t designed for your male BFF you’re hoping will change his sexual orientation and marry you.
� Beauty Snob gets you the glamour of Shang Hai Lily.
� Coquette reports: Natalie Portman launches a line of vegan shoes. Good move, the market needs her. Because Stella McCartney really uses the skin of endangered monkeys in her heels.
� Papierblog previews fall fashion week designer Reem Acra.
� Second City Style shares another week of bad celebrity fashion. Let’s see another Jessica in Uggs.
� StyleBakery.com tests for the ultimate bra guide. Maybe I’ll check it. I haven’t owned a bra in years.
� Styleaholic discusses the new fashion trends in animal skin. Remember, anaconda wallets are really about preserving a threatened species.
� Stylehive dishes on M.I.A.’s aerobic instructor chic. Very private, two-on-one one-on-one lessons not included.
� WELOVEBEAUTY.com gives away 100 pieces of Anastasia’s NuBrow brow-enhancing serum. Next week is ____-enhancing giveaway, which I’m signing up for.